Back to work today

After a couple of great days exploring the sights, it was time to get back to what brought me here in the first place. WORK.

Working on the 31st floor of a building in the heart of downtown Shanghai has some advantages. It also has some interesting side effects.

The good side.

The view out of my window is amazing (that’s when the smog is relatively thin and you can see more than a city block). I am embellishing a bit – because this afternoon, as the sun was setting I could see right across the river and the buildings were bathed in an angelic golden light. It was a vision splendor.

The side effect.
Lets start with the maths:

• A building of 38 floors.
• Lets say, 100 people per floor (there are cinemas on some, so that’s a fair estimate on average)
• That’s 3,800 people.
• 6 lifts. (see pic)
• That’s 633.333 people per lift. (the 0.333 is a very small person often referred to as a child)

And guess what. It seems they all arrive at work at the same time, they have lunch at the same time and they leave at the same time.

It adds a whole new dimension to Shanghai peak hour.

The important thing I have quickly learnt is lift etiquette - it goes something like this:

1. Watch for he lift that will open it’s doors next. (there’s an electronic sign but it’s in Chinese)
2. Jostle for a position in front of the doors. (Don’t let little women get in between you and someone else, as they will trip you up. I have seen it happen).
3. Watch the number on the wall so you can count down the timing. 10, 9, 8, etc
4. As the door eases open, push like hell to squeeze into the lift (think champagne cork back into the bottle)
5. As you settle into a position, help squeeze the exiting passengers out of the lift (think toothpaste out of a tube).

Side note. Don’t wait for exiting passengers. That will just slow you down and you will miss the lift.

Whatever you do.
A) Don’t hesitate, or you will be stuck out of the lift.
B) Don’t sneeze because you are too squashed to get your hand to you mouth. (so it will be messy)
C) And most importantly try and hit the right floor button as you squish past them (otherwise you will just go for a squashed ride and never make it to your floor)

This morning I rode the lift with one of the Account Management team. She is as cute as a button and quite tiny (even by Chinese standards). I didn’t even see her in the lift until we got out at our floor. A girl like that could literally be lost in the sea of bodies. Luckily the lift cleared a bit this morning and she popped back to life as we arrived at floor 31. (I imagine it's a bit like our No One character but a small and cute version popping into life)

One day, I will count the people we get into a lift and will report back to you.

An interesting work note that relates to the joy of lift experiences: I showed the Virgin Blue Premium economy TVC (Close talker) to one of my Chinese colleagues, he didn’t really get the insight about personal space. Go figure.

And finally, a big thanks for those that have commented. I was starting to feel I was the foreign correspondent writing a column in a foreign language that no-one spoke. But alas, I am just a foreign correspondent in a land were I don't speak the language. And I have been assured more people than just my nephew and Aunty-in-law are reading this fine prose. So thank you one and all, I hope I maintain your interest and readership. Cheers 'Daz in Chinaland'